i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize