We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
