i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
