You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize