like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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