I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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