You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
