You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
