Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize
