I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
