she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize