eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
