worst night to have a conscience
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
