we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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