Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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