The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize