How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
