We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
