Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
They took my balls.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
