we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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