WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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