i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
