"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize