yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
