Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
