Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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