Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize