I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
