Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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