you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
