Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
