I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
