Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I love having hate sex.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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