He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
