just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Randomize
