Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
