After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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