one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
