...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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