i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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