Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
