just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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