dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
