just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
