i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
