i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
