Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
