She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
