I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
