also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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