Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
