I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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