i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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