just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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