I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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