Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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