I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
