There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
