I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
