a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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