let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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