yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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