You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
