The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
