So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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