it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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