two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
