so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
