We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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