I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
