im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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