I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Randomize
