So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize