Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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