He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
