Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
why do cheetos always look like penises
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize