no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
