told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
