all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize